March 2007

“JRA (Just Riding Along)” as defined by Shane Wilson

(Shane Wilson owns Discover Bicycles in Hood River, Oregon and sends out one of the largest mountain bike rental fleets around. Sometimes, when those bikes come back, the rider’s story doesn’t match that of the bike’s. And bikes don’t lie. Ever. -Ed)

You are all just riding along, blissfully ignorant of the consequences of your every action. No matter how subtle and unobtrusive each act may seem, its effects build and compound. They are like ripples in the murky solvent tank that is slowly stripping away the layers of filth and deceit which hide the real reason for your humble servant’s crippled condition. “What could possibly be the harm in telling a few white lies?” you think “After all, it is my bike.” Spoken like a truly sick pedalophile. I see your brow wrinkle and your hands clammy as the facts are revealed. My questions become more pointed as your dull mind produces ever more careless answers. We know what you did last summer. Judgement approaches, and like Robespierre I lead you to the guillotine to pay for trespasses against the revolution. There in the basket lies your future, look it in the eyes. That’s right. The derailleur that you mangled will not be covered under warranty.